Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash
Mission Impossible: Time and Expectations
Hello, my friends, I know we are all getting geared up for a beautiful October morphing into a spectacular fall. Most people get to October and immediately equate it with Halloween. I don’t think, “October = Halloween”. I think “October = crisp apples, cider and donuts, beautifully colored leaves raining down like multi-colored blessings from above.” But then, that’s just me.
One thing that comes to mind from year to year is from the kids’ childhoods. When my daughter was in 3rd grade in a great Lutheran School that we loved, the week of Halloween the teacher handed out papers to be colored. As soon as she sat back down, my Princess was at her side, handing her an uncolored page. Miss P. asked if she hadn’t understood that she was to color it to put up on the wall. Yes, Ma’am, she understood. Did she take her crayons home and forget to bring them back? No, ma’am, she had her crayons. Well, then, why was she turning in a blank sheet? The girl quietly looked her in the eye and said, “Miss P., I can’t color this picture of a witch’s black cat. We don’t believe in celebrating the high holy day of Satanism.” She turned and walked back to her desk, only to be followed by her teacher with a beautiful picture of autumn leaves and fall flowers for her to color! What a beautiful way to acknowledge a child’s beliefs and keep her included in a fun project! We loved her teacher.
Another wonderful thing about fall, for me, is that we can turn off the air conditioning and open windows and hear the coyotes singing in the night air. It’s not that they only sing in the fall, but that until we get the windows open, we just can’t hear them! Unfortunately, winter follows fall, and we have to close them again!
But as I wrote last month, I have s-l-o-w-l-y been doing this or that job without thinking that I must do it all in one fell swoop. I am pleased to report that I have just three more windows to wash, and my screens will all be on for the first time since we moved here. That’s exciting!
Then I found a script I’d forgotten about that my son recorded for me to use at a women’s retreat. It made me laugh to think that 25 or 30 years could make such a difference! The script, beautifully read, needless to say, follows.
Photo by Alex Guillaume on Unsplash
Mission Impossible
Time and Expectations
Good evening, Mrs. Houk,
Your assignment, should you decide to accept it, will no doubt seem monumental. Many agents have attempted and failed, and many others have rejected this project out of hand. It has gained a reputation for its impossibility. That is why it has come to the auspices of this agency.
For this assignment, you will basically undertake an undercover operation of an average American household. But don’t be lulled into a sense of false security with this homey setting. The task may very well prove daunting.
Please access your information packet. You will notice the first folder contains photos of the people who will be your primary operatives. You will not only be living with them and interacting with them, but you must also be covertly training them, so that they can carry on this mission, should you become no longer operational.
The second item is a job description. Please notice that the following may be required of you at any time, and some of them concurrently: wife, mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, niece, aunt, neighbor, acquaintance, friend, teacher, church leader, community citizen, school supporter, cheerleader, chauffeur, beautician, banker, barber, masseuse, nurse, tutor, preacher, social secretary, informed voter, employee, historian, chef, receptionist, physical therapist, janitor, photographer, maid, organizational consultant, group leader, guidance counselor, coach, handyman, gardener, architect, scholar, policeman, writer, dietitian, waitress, purchasing agent; laundrymaid, housekeeper, investor, carpenter, interior decorator, manual laborer, secretary, bookkeeper, psychologist, veterinarian, entertainer, mentor, and prayer warrior.
You will, needless to say, be expected to perform flawlessly at all times, including those times when you are ill, depressed, tired, over-worked, underappreciated, abused, overestimated, and underpaid. You will, of course, as with all previous missions, totally memorize this publication, prior to swallowing it. Remember, the success of this mission depends entirely upon you. Any slight inattention to detail could mean an aborted mission, or even the loss of an agent.
As in all previous assignments, should you or your colleagues fall into enemy hands, or if you should fail in the course of this assignment, this agency will disavow any knowledge of you.
This tape is programmed to self-destruct.
Good luck, Mrs. Houk.
Oh, by the way, this self-destruction process typically results in quite a little mess. If you decide not to accept this mission, just leave it. Someone else will come along and pick up after you.
End item
